I met my husband when I was 17 years old and married him a year and a half later. We've been married nearly 25 years and have experienced all the highs and lows of a long marriage. But, we worked through problems and came out on the other side stronger and closer than ever because it is a relationship built on substance, respect and love.
Young people today don't seem to get that. They cycle through relationships about as quickly as I cycle through a music CD looking for my 3 favorite songs out 15 (Yes, I have an ipod, but my car only plays CD's). I can respect that they're young and perhaps haven't found "the one", but I do have an issue with them wanting to parade their latest insignificant other into the lives and hearts of their children. It is wrong to do that to a child when you have a history of short term romances.
Aaron's mother became angry with me some time ago because she wanted to bring her then boyfriend to meet Aaron and I refused to allow it. She has since had two other boyfriends who, if I had allowed it, would likely have been asked to meet Aaron, too. Not a chance! Her anger was somewhat justified because I did allow my son to bring his girlfriend over, though reluctantly. The girl my son is seeing came to our home several times as my son's friend, long before they began a romance. On one occasion she came to my son's birthday party with her then boyfriend. I didn't feel it was appropriate to suddenly declare "oh, no! You two have begun dating, she's no longer welcome here!" but I did specify there would be no kissing on each other in front of Aaron.
That all occurred over a year ago and my son is still in a relationship with the same girl. However, recently I caught my son encouraging Aaron to give his girlfriend a hug at the end of a visit (Aaron has only been in her company 2 or 3 times). That did not set well with me and I can't explain why. Perhaps because I don't want Aaron to hug anyone simply because he is being asked to. I believe affection should be freely given based on ones feelings, not as a standard salutation for any and everyone. Perhaps I don't like my son making this girlfriend out to be someone of great importance in Aaron's life. She may be important in my son's life, but she won't be more than "my Dad's girlfriend" to Aaron. Maybe I just know it won't be a lasting relationship and therefore bristle at the person being paraded into Aaron's life when I know they won't be around long-term.
...and just maybe, I'm wrong. Maybe this girl is "the one" for my son; she seems nice enough. Still, she will never be Aaron's stepmother. I just don't understand why these kids are in such a rush to introduce these guys and gals of the moment to this little boy who simply doesn't care who these people are. All Aaron cares about is whether a person wants to color or blow bubbles and is receptive to tickling. I know I have to be somewhat open to my son's relationships. One day he will meet the girl he intends to make his wife and when that happens it's natural he will want to introduce her to his family.
The question I pose to myself is: How much time must pass before a relationship can be considered legitimate and worthy of involving my grandson?
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