I want to be a voice for all of those sharing this experience. I want them to know they're not alone, the emotions they feel are normal, the stresses, hardship, fears and resentment are shared by all of us. We didn't see ourselves doing this all over again at our age. But, we've risen to the challenge and we work through those periods when we feel weak and incapable.
My grandson, Aaron, came to live with us permanently when he was 9 months old. I was a fulltime student in college working toward my Bachelor of Science in Criminal Justice with a year and a half to go before completion. It was a huge struggle and more than once I considered postponing my studies until Aaron was a bit older. On the bad days (there were more than few), I would have loved to have smashed Aaron's parents in their faces. Other days I could cuddle the little beastie all day long and never get tired. I have resented the loss of my personal freedom and mourned the loss of those golden year plans we had made. But, those moments when he wraps his little arms around my neck and asks "mama happy?" that I hug him tightly to me and know I will fight away every possible physical or emotional harm for him; even if that possible harm is his own parents.
Raising grandchildren is darn hard! We don't have the physical strength, energy and stamina we had when we were young parents. The friends who would trade off babysitting with you when you were young are no longer interested in babysitting and if they are, they choose to babysit their own grandchildren! So, the social life diminishes and fun outside of family time is severely restricted and too few understand. How can you explain to your friend who just returned from a wonderful cruise that you're stressed out about finding the right daycare, counselor, pediatrician, etc? Even our parenting abilities are obsolete and things that were the norm in child rearing 20 plus years ago are now considered harmful! Who knew fruit juice would become evil!? Though, I admit some of the gadgets available today are pretty cool! Through this blog, I hope to address the good and bad we face in our journey sometimes with a dash of humor and sometimes with anger at our situation and the thoughtlessness of others. But above all, I hope to create and place of understanding, support and acceptance for what is our life.
...and so ends my very first blog entry.
If anyone is aware of programs like the Maine Kids Kin program in other states, please feel free to link them to me and I will eventually create a resource page on a state by state basis.
This post has been linked to the GRAND Social linky