Rush here - Hurry there - Stress about this - Worry over that - Help them - Oversee these - Research those....I'm dizzy and I want off this ride!
It's not unusual for summer to bring an abundance of activities that keep us active and busy. But we're usually cramming in lots of "fun" activities which, while exhausting, still leaves a smile on our face. Not much of the hustle and bustle of this summer has left traces of laughter on our faces. Don't get me wrong, we have enjoyed trips to the local animal farm, activities at the local library, time spent at the lake or in the pool. However, we haven't had much down time to simply relax and enjoy without feeling pressured to tend to everyday demands and some additional stresses.
Most of my readers are aware that my dear mother passed away last winter. As a result, my father will be moving into our daylight basement. Unfortunately, the basement was unfinished as is the rest of our home. We purchased the home (a major fixer-upper) a couple of years ago and it had great potential, particularly for a building contractor and his wife. Initially we were making great headway in our renovations and were excited about the progress we were making and the gem we were creating. Then social services asked us to take custody of our, then 9 month old, grandson. He was terrified of even the smallest power tool, so all interior work came to an abrupt halt. We focused on clearing and cleaning up the 3 acres of property and my husband began building his barn. When my mother passed we had to switch gears again and begin converting our daylight basement into a one bedroom apartment for my father. Because my father is unable to afford his home without my mother's income, we are under an enormous amount of pressure to finish the downstairs before my father's house sells. This means that every moment of potential downtime is spent working downstairs. Fortunately, our grandson is now 3 years old and (with the help of ear protection) has overcome his fear of power tools.
There have been a couple of family days at the park or the lake, but usually it is just Aaron and I going on outings during the week while my husband is at work. Once the weekend arrives, there is no quiet quality time as we do our best to complete the apartment before time runs out. I long for the days when I would sit and read by the pool, invite company over to sit by the fire and relax, or enjoy a leisurely meal at some posh restaurant as a couple. I am torn about how I should feel, beyond the stressed out, world go away, curl up in a ball and cry from the pressure emotions. I tell myself it is only a temporary situation and I will be blessed with the knowledge that both my grandson and my father are cared for and safe. Yet, I also wonder how my rush, rush, under pressure lifestyle, though temporary, is effecting this little boy. If I feel overwhelmed with it all, how must he perceive our day to day franticness? I have vowed to take deep breaths and slow down, but it never lasts long. I am a worrier, and I will continue to worry about the future and making things right until everything falls neatly in to place. Sadly, it's rare that things fall neatly!
To my regular readers, I apologize for the infrequency of my writing during this time. I assure you that I will resume my typical writing schedule in a couple of months when demands on my time and attention lessen. I hope each of you have a lovely PEACEFUL summer!
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